Dear Susan,
My wife of 18 years passed away last year. My daughter-in-law has suggested that maybe a pet would help me feel less lonely, and said that pets can help with grief. Is this true? Does it matter what type of pet? I think my loneliness is normal, but if it will help, I might get a cat or a dog.
WJ, London
Dear WJ,
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a profound and difficult loss.
There has been a lot of research done on the health advantages of pet ownership and your daughter-in-law is right, having a pet is proven to help reduce feelings of loneliness and ease bereavement. Studies of older adults have also shown that owning a pet helped people to maintain their daily routines, such as sticking to regular meals, keeping up adequate room temperatures, going grocery shopping, etc.
Researchers have also noted that Seniors who own pets are also less likely to make unnecessary trips to the doctor’s and that the very act of petting an animal reduces blood pressure and induces relaxation.
While I did not find any studies that have compared the relative merits of cats, dogs, parrots or fish as pets, there is research that maintains that dogs can have an especially positive influence. Studies have shown that when walking a dog, people tend to make more eye contact and have more people approach them. So, a dog gets you outdoors more often, provides some physical exercise and encourages social contact with other people, all of which help promote psychological well being.
However, that doesn’t mean that a dog is the best choice for you! Though all this research suggests that pet ownership may be beneficial for your physical and psychological health, you need to make sure that becoming a pet owner fits in with your lifestyle, habits, experience, and expectations.
Ultimately, whether you favour a guinea pig or a kitten, the factors that are going to help you feel better psychologically, are:
Knowing that you are establishing a relationship of non-judgementalness and mutual trust
Feeling an increased sense of purposefulness and consistency
Feeling loved and needed
Experiencing laughter and playful moments
The sense of comfort that touch and affection can provide
The loss of your wife is a profoundly painful and life altering experience. In fact, you would not be ‘normal’ if you weren’t feeling lonely at this time. I hope that you are primarily seeking the support and comfort of your friends and family, but that if you do decide to get a pet, this information has been helpful to you.